Don’t Study Philosophy
by Samuel De Lemos
Why you should reconsider becoming a philosophy major.
Look what happened to me:
* I hate academia and macadamia nuts.
* I think way too much—over analyze.
* I can’t buy into the status quo or any presidential nominees.
* I have an outrageous sense of humor, that frankly, no one understands.
* I am bitterly sarcastic about everything.
* I read philosophy to settle down while I drink beer—Thank you Prof. Robin Roth.
* Rather than listen to music on my way to work, I listen to erudite people explain the meaning of things. Everyone finds this boring except “moi.”
* I rather go to a book store and read Dante or Nietzsche than go to a party.
* I have a hard time understanding adults and their silly views.
* Religion and I are bitter polemical friends—
*I am a mental mess when left alone with my thoughts.
If you want to mess up your life forever be a philosophy major.