Mario

by Samuel De Lemos

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I shaved my face
Today with a
Dull razor
Blade.

I’ve been growing
Facial hair for some time,
So shaving kits around
My house are not
Usually, “first rate.”

Normally, the blades
I find are rusty—
The ladies use them
In the shower and leave
Them there.

They Look like they have the
Dreaded chicken pox,
Only the red dots are on
Surgical steel,
Instead of on my skin.

Dull, like a garden
Tool that has
Lost its edge.
Like that
Push blade lawn-mower
I used
On wet grass,
Exhausting as
That stubborn donkey
In Baalam’s story—
Avoiding the fiery angel that
Almost got Him killed.

Each hair follicle
was yanked on and
Mercilessly severed. The
Shaving experience I had
was full of drama
And wincing pain.

I danced the
Dance of agony with
A towel around my waist.
Trying to make the best
Of a bad ordeal, wishing
I’d gone to Walmart first
For new blades.

I don’t normally wish I’d
Been to Walmart, if you
Knew me, you’d know
How I hate Walmart; but
At this moment, Walmart
Sounded like Heaven and
The aisle where the shaving
Kits are found—
Streets of gold.

After all was said and done,
I shaved my beard and
Left only the Mustache
On my lip.

My kids laughed and laughed,
“Dad looks like Mario”, they
Stammered.

“Nice dad, you look
Like a character
In a video game.”, Levi said

Great,
I grew up with Mario
On my Commodore 64.

Jumping out of harms way
Trying to find
Magic mushrooms, shooting for coins
A fantastic journey, while avoiding
The flying turtles, all so
I could get to the next level and
Find the next world.

I took a selfie,
Posted it on
Instagram and
Hash-tagged it–
#Mario,
#MarioBrothers,
#Supermario, and
#Nintendoworld.

The response was
Immediate, I now
Have a gammer
Fan base all around
The world.

Some even say that
I Look like Lugi.
All because I shaved.

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