Night Flower

by Samuel De Lemos

Last night I was throwing
A pity party,
I got myself all worked up for nothing.

Reading about other peoples
Successes, is difficult
Right now.

I’m in a precarious place,
Transitioning from being
Self-employed to seeking
Employment a fresh.
I feel like

I’m reinventing myself.
I’m self-conscious and
Vulnerable. To say its a
Humbling experience,
Is an understatement.

One thing I can count on
Is my family, I have a
Support system that loves
Me tremendously.

Most of the time I’m pumped
About the future, but during
Times of solitude I catch
Myself thinking about the
Hole I’m currently in.

I hate looking in the mirror,
Because I’m
Reminded of more of my
Failures than what I’ve
Achieved.

So, I write about it,
It helps to relieve the
Anxiety I feel about
The unknown and chaos
I currently own.

I know it’s not wise to
Compare oneself to others,
But it’s hard not to fall
Into that trap in times
Like these.

My wife told me something
Eloquent and it stuck with Me.
“Live everyday the best
You can—for God, yourself
And your family. If you do
That, you will succeed.”

Such words of wisdom
Are important to digest they
Help nourish my soul.

If I could sum all this up
Poetically it be:

I’m Like a strand of
Jasmine that grows
In between two massive oak
Trees, canopy covered and
Hardly sun touched.

Who’s envious of the roses
That bathe in magnificent warmth;

While, I frantically struggle to be
Nourished by the midday
Rays,

but come nightfall the
Moon and the stars shine their
Brilliant light—

Allowing
Me to feel that I have
A little bit of hope,
As I envelop myself in the
Coolness and darkness
Of the night.